Embracing Doing It Differently – Releasing the Stories That Aren’t Ours
Welcome back Friends,
Have you ever felt yourself hesitate—not because you didn’t want something, but because you were afraid of how it might unfold?
Not because it felt wrong, but because you hadn’t seen it done in a way that felt right?
One of the most beautiful and challenging parts of the human journey is learning to create a life that feels aligned with who we truly are. We’re surrounded by messages about how life should look—what it means to be happy, to be successful, to be enough. And alongside those messages, we witness the struggles and sacrifices others have made in pursuit of those same dreams.
So, it’s not just the external noise that makes it hard to hear ourselves. Sometimes, we absorb stories based on what others have had to endure. Without realizing it, we might begin to orient our decisions around avoiding their pain, their pitfalls—even if they aren’t ours to carry. And in doing so, we can quietly internalize beliefs that keep us small and stuck, all in an attempt to stay safe.
Maybe we long for a loving relationship, a career that lights us up, or the experience of parenthood. But somewhere along the way, we saw someone feel trapped, lose themselves, or get hurt in the pursuit of the very thing we desire—and so we quietly learned: that must be dangerous. That it would probably unfold the same way for us.
We often think we’re being logical or cautious when we hold ourselves back. But sometimes, we’re just trying to soothe ourselves in advance. We tell ourselves: Well, if I don’t chase that dream, maybe I can avoid the disappointment. If I don’t want what they wanted, maybe I won’t lose what they lost.
And yet... what if there’s another way?
What if we could learn to meet those inherited fears with compassion, and still open the door to possibility?
What if we could choose to relate to our experiences differently?
It’s not easy. Especially when we haven’t seen it done before.
It takes self-trust to believe we can do things differently—to pave a new path with no one else leading the way.
I’ve felt this in many areas of my life—
In my relationship, where I’ve often said that while there are qualities I admire in my friends’ partnerships, I don’t want to recreate any of them entirely. Not because they aren’t good, but because we’re different. Our relationship is different. Our needs, our pace, our priorities… they’re ours.
I’ve felt it in my career too. I admire so many coaches, writers, and facilitators—but I’m not here to mimic anyone else’s path.
And more recently, I’ve been gently exploring my relationship to the idea of parenthood.
What I’ve uncovered is a web of beliefs passed down through generations—stories about sacrifice, depletion, loneliness.
There was a time when I thought these beliefs were protecting me, but somewhere along the way, they began to form a kind of cage—keeping me from creating something new, something just for me.
Doing it differently means questioning what we’ve internalized—not with blame or shame, but with honesty, curiosity, and care.
It means gently asking: Is this truly mine? Or was this absorbed in the absence of another narrative?
It means choosing to believe that we can create something new… even if we’ve never seen it before.
Here are a few gentle reminders I’ve returned to along the way:
Not every inherited story is yours to carry: Sometimes the beliefs we hold were passed down through love or fear. You get to set them down if they no longer serve you.
Pause and notice what you’re avoiding—and why: Ask yourself: Where did I first learn that this dream or path was dangerous? Who did I see struggle? Just noticing can bring clarity.
Compassion is not the same as agreement: You can have deep compassion for someone else’s story without making it your own. Their pain doesn’t have to predict your path.
Self-protection can sometimes become self-abandonment: What once kept you safe might now be keeping you small. It’s okay to outgrow the beliefs that helped you survive.
You don’t need a blueprint to begin: Even if no one has modelled the version of life you desire, it doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. You’re allowed to go first.
Missteps aren’t proof you’re doing it wrong: They’re part of building something new. Keep going. Every choice you make with intention strengthens your self-trust.
Let your body be part of the process: If the fear feels loud, try coming back to your breath. Soften your shoulders. Feel your feet on the ground. You don’t have to think your way through everything—you can feel your way through too.
It’s okay to move slowly. It’s okay to still feel scared. And it’s okay to want something different than what you’ve seen before.
This isn’t about proving you can do it alone. It’s about remembering that you don’t have to do it the way it’s always been done.
You’re allowed to carve a path that honours your values, your needs, and your truth.
That’s not rebellion.
That’s liberation.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
