Embracing the Low Days – When the Kindest Thing Is to Just Let It Be

Hello and welcome back!

Even the most grounded, self-aware people have moments when they feel low. Because this journey—this human experience—isn’t about reaching some state where we’re immune to hard feelings. It’s about learning how to meet ourselves, and each other, with compassion when they arise.

We all move through seasons—some bright, some heavy. And in those heavier moments, what we often need most is space—not a solution.

Have you ever been around a loved one who was feeling a little off or weighed down, and your first instinct was to try to help? To shift the mood, reframe the situation, or offer something to cheer them up?

It’s a natural response. Most of us don’t like to see the people we care about struggling. But here’s the thing: when we try to quickly move someone out of their feelings, even with the best intentions, the message that often lands is “Your feelings aren’t welcome here,” or “You’re too much right now.”

And when we’re on the receiving end of that? It can feel like there’s no space for our feelings – like pressure to override our own experience so others don’t feel uncomfortable.

I recently joined my partner and a few others for a spontaneous group outing. I mentioned ahead of time that I was feeling low-energy and might not fully participate—but I was open to being there, soaking in the moment in my own quieter way, if they were okay with that.

As soon as we got going, there were subtle nudges to “just do it,” to match the vibe, to shift my energy. And while I know these nudges were meant with encouragement, what I felt was something different: that my current state might bring the group down.

The truth is, I wasn’t in a bad mood. I was simply…low. Tired. Present, but tender.

Eventually, I found the words to say, “I’m feeling low-energy today, and I really need that to be okay.” And it helped. But it would’ve felt even better if that permission had been honoured from the start.

We live in a culture that often celebrates yes—enthusiasm, optimism, high energy—and forgets that sometimes a quiet no, or even a soft not right now, is just as worthy.

In my experience, most people aren’t looking to be rescued or redirected. They’re not waiting for you to say the perfect thing.
They want to feel safe in your presence.
They want to feel seen.
They want to know they’ll be accepted—even when they’re not “at their best.”

(Of course, this assumes mutual respect—being low doesn’t mean disregarding others’ boundaries. But emotional messiness and disrespect are not the same.)

It can feel disappointing or disorienting when someone you love isn’t able to match your energy. But often, it’s our discomfort with their heaviness that creates the greatest distance—not the heaviness itself. Our resistance to it makes things harder—not just for them, but for the connection itself. No one wants to feel ashamed of what they’re feeling. And when we offer quick fixes instead of real presence, we can unintentionally create that shame— even when we mean well.

There’s a difference between encouragement and invalidation—and the line is often tone, timing, and whether there’s true permission to stay low, if the mood doesn’t shift.

Inspired by the way Christopher Robin and friends hold space for Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh—without trying to change him—here are a few gentle practices:

• Resist the urge to fix: Let your first response be presence, not problem-solving. A simple “That sounds really hard” goes a long way.

• Let them set the pace: Don’t rush them toward a brighter mood. Let them arrive there (or not) in their own time.

• Be okay with quiet: Silence can be incredibly comforting when it’s safe. You don’t need to fill every moment with words.

• Ask what they need—or offer low-pressure support: “Would you like a hug, some space, or someone to just sit beside you?” Let them choose.

• Know your limits, too: If you don’t have the capacity to hold space gently, it’s okay to say, “I care about you deeply and I want to be here for you, but I’m feeling a little depleted right now. Can we check in a little later?

And if you’re the one who’s feeling low, please remember:
You are not a burden.
You don’t need to smile to make others comfortable.
And you are allowed to be seen as you are—low energy, teary-eyed, quietly present.
The people who truly care about you don’t need you to be “on” to love you.

So, whether you’re holding space for someone else or learning to honour your own lower days…
Let it be enough to just be.
Let it be okay not to be okay.

You are still lovable. Still worthy. Still whole.

With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina