Embracing Choosing Me – What It Really Means to Let Your Values Lead

Hi Friends,

When was the last time you chose you?

For some, the answer might be “this morning.” For others, it might be “I don’t remember.”
But maybe the trickier question is: what does it actually mean to choose yourself?

Is it about getting your way—about things going how you want or expect them to? Or does it run deeper than that? Toward something quieter and more powerful—living in alignment with your core values, even when it’s uncomfortable?

The first might feel good in the moment. But it’s the second that truly reshapes our lives. And it often requires more from us. It asks us to get to know ourselves, to confront old stories and inherited beliefs, and sometimes, to stay with the discomfort instead of avoiding it…to do the thing that feels scary.

I’ve found myself wrestling with this in a very personal way lately. Someone I care deeply for has been navigating their own stories and beliefs, which has brought up uncertainty.

At first, that uncertainty made me feel uncertain, too. My first instinct was to convince…to try to fix what felt unresolved. My next instinct was to retreat. I felt the pull to protect myself from future rejection by being the one to walk away first. I’ve felt that before—the ache of not feeling fully chosen. By family. By friends. In relationships. And I could feel the old belief whispering again: “If I stay…and they don’t choose me…what does that say about me?”

But when I created space to slow down and sit with the discomfort, I realized something important: I was waiting for their clarity to give me permission to stay. Not because I didn’t care—because I do. But because I was afraid. And that fear was making me question my own clarity.

In this situation, choosing myself hasn’t been about walking away to protect myself from rejection, disappointment, or embarrassment. And it hasn’t been about staying to prove a point, or my worth. It’s been about listening to my values—even when fear made it tempting to run. It’s meant acknowledging the fear—and still choosing the path that felt expansive.
Even though it’s uncertain.
Even though it’s scary.

Choosing yourself doesn’t always mean staying. Sometimes, choosing yourself means letting go. Sometimes, it means trusting that walking away is the more aligned choice. It’s not about staying or leaving—it’s about staying true to what your values are asking of you in this moment.

Sometimes, choosing ourselves means doing the thing that terrifies us …not because we’re reckless, but because we trust ourselves enough to navigate whatever unfolds.

And for me, the answer—for today—is staying. Not because it’s easy. But because the growth and love I’ve experienced here is something I still want to explore.

That could change. And if my clarity shifts tomorrow, that doesn’t mean I failed myself—it just means I listened honestly to what was true for me then, and I’m listening honestly again now.

And the truth is, they may choose a different path. But right now, choosing me looks like making a choice rooted in my values and self-trust—not fear.

It doesn’t mean this choice feels light or simple. It doesn’t mean I have clarity about where it will lead. But it does mean I’m not abandoning myself in the process. It might not always go the way I hope, but I believe it will take me where I’m ultimately supposed to go. It’s not about what someone else chooses…but whether we stay true to ourselves while it’s happening.

It's easy to get caught in the layered and conflicting feelings. But choosing ourselves means gently mining through the layers of fear, self-protection, and doubt to find the voice rooted in our deepest values—and letting that voice lead the way. When I was focused on the fear of feeling unchosen, for example, I was tempted to anticipate that pain and pre-emptively walk away. I was also tempted to stay in order to try to prove my worth. I had to dig underneath those fears and refocus on what I actually want—rather than on what the other person might do, or how things might unfold.

This work can feel incredibly lonely sometimes. No one else can do it for us. But having people who hold space while we find our way—that’s priceless. As a coach, that’s one of the most sacred parts of what I do—creating safe space, asking meaningful questions, and supporting others as they return to themselves when the path feels murky.

Choosing yourself doesn’t always look like one big, bold leap. Sometimes it’s a quiet decision. A moment of honesty. A willingness to sit with fear, without letting it steer.

Some reminders that help me stay grounded in those moments:

• Not all discomfort is a sign to run. Sometimes, it’s a sign you’re growing.

• Self-trust isn’t about knowing how it’ll turn out—it’s about knowing you’ll meet yourself with care, no matter what.

• Choosing yourself isn’t about getting your way. It’s about letting your values lead the way.

• You can’t always control how others show up. But you can choose how you respond.

• Choosing you might not feel easy. But that doesn’t mean it’s not right.

If you’re sitting in a moment where the path feels uncertain, I hope this post reminds you: you don’t need all the answers. You just need to keep coming back to yourself. And if you’d like support as you navigate what choosing yourself looks like—I’d be honoured to walk beside you.

With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina