Embracing Different Opinions – Navigating Uncomfortable Conversations with Openness
Hello Friends,
It’s that time of year…
The time we gather with family, friends, chosen community…and sometimes, people we wouldn’t normally choose at all.
People whose values feel misaligned with our own.
People we have a painful history with.
Or people we simply don’t understand.
Sometimes we can opt out. Other times, we can’t—or we don’t want to—because someone we love is connected to the person who feels hard for us to be around.
For those situations, you might find this blog helpful —it explores how to support yourself when sharing space with someone you don’t necessarily like or agree with.
Today, though, we’re exploring something slightly different:
Those moments when opinions differ—sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly—and the discomfort that follows.
Moments that stir defensiveness, disbelief, or disappointment. Moments where we wonder: Do I speak up? Stay quiet? Will it even matter?
Sometimes that discomfort is a sign we need to protect ourselves.
Some opinions aren’t just “different”—they’re harmful. When someone’s views erase or threaten another person’s right to safety or dignity, the impact is real. That’s not just a difference of opinion – it’s a boundary.
But other times, it’s murkier. There may be no outright harm—just a comment or belief that rubs up against something tender—and suddenly, our breath shortens, our shoulders rise, and something inside us wants to push back.
That’s where we often struggle. Because the invitation in those moments isn’t necessarily to educate, correct, or even to leave—it’s to discern.
Do I engage?
If so, how do I do that in a way that reflects my values rather than my defenses?
And if not, how do I care for myself without shutting down or shutting others out?
When our bodies brace, it doesn’t always mean we’re in danger—but it is information.
That defensiveness, that spike of irritation or disbelief—it’s a signal. Sometimes it’s pointing to something that needs protecting. Sometimes it’s pointing to something that wants to soften.
Either way, the signal isn’t a green light to react—it’s an invitation to check in.
Not to override or dismiss what we feel…but to pause long enough to ask:
What’s happening in me right now?
Is this a moment to speak—or to step away?
What would it look like to respond from self-respect rather than urgency?
Grounding Reminders for When Opinions Differ
Check in with your body: Are you feeling grounded enough to engage with openness? Or are you moving from reactivity? A small pause can help shift you from reaction to intention.
You don’t have to engage: Some conversations aren’t worth having—or aren’t worth having right now. Some spaces aren’t open. Choosing not to speak doesn’t mean you’re complicit or cowardly—it might just mean you’re wise. That said, discomfort alone isn’t always a sign to step back. Sometimes the discomfort of speaking up is exactly what’s needed, especially when silence has too often been the norm. Only you can decide what feels aligned.
Be clear on your why: If you do choose to speak, what’s guiding you? Are you trying to correct, convince, connect, or plant a seed? Different intentions can shift the tone of the entire exchange.
Lead with curiosity when possible: This doesn’t mean bypassing harm or abandoning yourself. But if your system feels grounded enough, curiosity can create a surprising shift—for both people involved.
Loosen the grip on outcome: Your words might not change anyone’s mind. And that’s okay. Sometimes the most powerful impact isn’t in being agreed with—but in being heard.
Let the conversation stay unfinished: Not every conversation needs resolution. You can speak what’s true and still let the rest go. A thread left open doesn’t mean the moment wasn’t meaningful.
This work isn’t easy.
When someone’s beliefs conflict with our values—or touch on something that’s shaped us—it can feel personal. Because it is.
We don’t just hold beliefs. We tend to build identity around them.
So when someone disagrees, it can feel like they’re disagreeing with who we are. That’s why grounding in ourselves matters – so we can respond with clarity, not from collapse or defense.
This isn’t about keeping the peace at the expense of your truth.
It’s also not about demanding that others believe what you do.
It’s about honouring the complexity of being human—especially when that complexity shows up around the dinner table, in shared traditions, or through the words of someone tied to those you love.
So, if you find yourself in a conversation this season that stirs discomfort, I hope you’ll pause—not to suppress what you feel, but to listen to it more closely.
You might choose to speak.
You might choose to just listen.
You might choose to step away.
Or you might choose to stay something small and honest – and let that be enough.
Whatever you choose, I hope you’ll meet yourself with compassion.
Because these moments are rarely simple. They ask us to balance our needs with our values…our truth with our tolerance…our nervous system, and the relationships we care about.
And that takes a kind of strength that often goes unseen.
This season, I’m wishing you space to breathe, clarity to act (or not act), and gentleness with yourself, as you navigate what can’t always be resolved.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
