Embracing Mirrors – How Life Reflects What’s Within
Hello again!
Want to know one of the most annoying truths when it comes to personal growth?
Our lives—and especially our relationships—are mirrors.
It’s one of those lessons I’ve experienced again and again. And each time, I still feel a twinge of resistance, of annoyance. Because it’s so much easier to point outside ourselves when something feels hard.
When I’m feeling frustrated because my partner doesn’t see things the way I do, of course I want to believe I’m ‘right.’ That everything would be smoother if he could just understand where I’m coming from. But when I slow down enough to ask, “Why is it so important that he sees this my way?” the answer usually leads me inward.
Most often, it’s not really about being right—it’s about trying to avoid something I don’t want to feel. Maybe rejection. Maybe uncertainty. And more often than not, it’s the same thing he’s trying to avoid too… we’re just flip sides of the same coin.
It’s human to want to externalize pain or discomfort. To believe that if someone else changed—or if an opportunity unfolded the way we hoped—things would feel better. “If that interview had gone well… if I had gotten that job… if my partner would just listen more…”
And maybe that would help. But maybe not. There’s no way to know for sure. We often assume our plans would lead to ease or happiness, but that’s not always the case. So, when something doesn’t go our way, maybe the real invitation isn’t to try and force a different outcome—but to hold up a mirror and ask: “What’s being reflected back to me?”
Maybe there’s an old belief ready to be released. Maybe there’s a truth we’ve been avoiding that’s asking to be seen.
Annoying? Yes. But also: powerful.
Mirrors aren’t meant to shame us. They’re meant to offer us insight—so we can grow, release, and move forward with greater alignment. The path may not be straight or easy… but it may be exactly what we need to get where we’re truly meant to go.
If you find yourself pointing outward—to your partner, parent, friend, boss, or circumstances beyond your control—here are a few gentle prompts that might help you turn inward and explore what’s in the mirror, waiting to be seen:
What story am I telling myself about this situation?
What emotion am I hoping to avoid or bypass?
Is this reaction/feeling familiar? When have I felt this way before?
What do I want the other person to give me—and am I offering that to myself?
What fear might be fueling my need to be seen, heard, or understood right now?
Am I seeking control or certainty in a situation that doesn’t offer it?
What unmet need or boundary might be asking for my attention?
Am I hoping someone else will validate something I’m not yet sure I believe?
What’s the most compassionate response I can offer myself in this moment?
If this situation is a mirror, what is it showing me about how I relate to myself?
If you’re noticing a mirror moment in your life right now—be gentle. This work isn’t about shame or blame. It’s about bringing light to what’s been unseen, and doing so with kindness and care.
Self-compassion is the cornerstone of any meaningful growth. And if looking in the mirror feels overwhelming, you don’t have to do it alone. A trusted coach or therapist can walk beside you, helping you reflect without judgment and grow with intention.
If that kind of support feels helpful, I’m here.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
