Embracing Self-Care – When Wellness Becomes a Distraction
Hello Lovely Souls,
Welcome back to this space for reflection, restoration, and reconnection.
Maybe the idea of reading a blog doesn’t feel like self-care for you—and that’s okay.
I’d gently invite the question: what does?
We’re often flooded with messages that paint self-care as indulgence—watching a show, playing a round of golf, treating yourself to a dessert, a vacation, a shopping spree, or even a luxurious bubble bath. And those things can be part of self-care.
But they’re only one layer.
They soothe us, but often only temporarily.
They bring pleasure, but don’t always meet our deeper needs.
And sometimes, they’re tools of comfort we’ve learned to reach for when we’re feeling overwhelmed, depleted, or disconnected—not necessarily tools that help us reconnect.
True self-care can be gentle, and it can also be confronting.
It might mean having the uncomfortable conversation instead of avoiding it.
It might mean saying no, even when it feels awkward or difficult.
It might mean pausing the things that help us numb so we can actually feel.
It also means learning how to look honestly—and compassionately—at what life is mirroring back to us. Not to criticize ourself, but to understand ourself. To ask: Is this pattern still serving me? Am I caring for myself—or coping with myself?
Because any self-care tool can drift out of balance. Meditation, breathwork, workouts, and personal growth work are all beautiful tools when used with awareness. But sometimes we use them to try to avoid pain. We tell ourselves that if we just regulate better, communicate more clearly, or “heal enough” maybe we won’t have to feel discomfort anymore. Maybe then we’ll be safe—from conflict, from criticism, from abandonment. But when our practices become ways to protect ourselves from feeling, they stop being about care and start being about control. And true self-care isn’t about erasing our emotions or perfecting our reactions—it’s about learning to meet what arises with steadiness, compassion, and care.
And when we notice ourselves clinging to control or comfort, it’s often a sign that something deeper is asking to be held. Because, self-care isn’t just about tending to who we are now—it’s about tending to who we were.
The child who needed gentleness in chaos.
The teen who longed to feel understood.
The version of us who didn’t yet know how to honour our own boundaries, needs, or voice.
Deeper self-care is often about reparenting ourselves—learning how to sit with our feelings instead of silencing them, how to rest when we’re tired instead of pushing ourselves to the breaking point, and how to speak up for ourselves the way we once wished someone else would. It’s a lifelong practice of learning how to show up for ourselves in the ways we deeply need—in the ways no one could.
And it’s a powerful kind of love.
It’s not always easy to recognize when care becomes coping. But here are a few gentle signs—and ways to return to something more nourishing.
Sign: You feel anxious when you don’t do your self-care routine perfectly
Try: Soften the all-or-nothing mindset—try a pared-down version or skip a day without guilt or shame. Simply notice how it feels to offer yourself kindness in the imperfection.Sign: You’re always working on yourself but never pausing to be with yourself
Try: Set aside 5–10 minutes to simply be. No fixing, no improving, no analyzing—just presence. Let yourself exist without needing to be better or different.Sign: You reach for your go-to practices but still feel disconnected or numb
Try: Pause before you begin and ask: What do I truly need right now? Maybe it's rest, connection, tears, stillness or simply a few breaths.Sign: You journal about uncomfortable conversations but never have them.
Try: Let journaling support your voice—not replace it. Use it to clarify what you want to say, then practice sharing it in a small, safe way—like a voice note, a draft message, or a conversation with someone you trust. (And if journaling helps you realize something doesn’t need to be said—that’s valid too. Let it be an honest check-in, not a permanent holding place.)Sign: You’re more focused on doing it “right” than on how it feels
Try: Pause during or after your practice to ask: Do I feel more connected to myself? Let your answer—not the checklist—be your guide.
Self-care isn’t a checklist or performance. It’s a relationship with yourself—one that asks for presence over perfection, compassion over control, and honesty over habit.
It’s not always soothing in the moment… but it’s what sustains us in the long run.
And like any relationship, it will evolve. It’s allowed to look different depending on your season of life, your capacity, and your needs.
Keep tending.
Keep showing up for yourself.
Not because you have to, but because you’re worth it.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
