Embracing Our Inherent Worth – When Your Value Has Nothing to Prove
Hello, Lovely Souls,
Let’s start with a gentle question today:
How do you determine your worth?
Is it based on what others say about you?
What you imagine others might think about you?
How you measure up to the people around you?
If you’re anything like me, it used to be a combination of all three.
And honestly? That makes sense.
We’re wired for connection, and in early human history, knowing where we stood was necessary for survival. Looking to others for cues about our value once served a protective function.
But today?
It can feel as though we only exist through the eyes of others.
Have you ever created something meaningful—something you were proud of—only to feel a little deflated when others didn’t reflect that back to you? Maybe there were no comments, no feedback, no “likes.” And suddenly, you started to question its value—and maybe even your own.
Or maybe you’ve caught yourself comparing your life, your work, your body, or your path to someone else’s—and shrinking a little in the process.
It’s easy to forget our value when it feels invisible.
It’s easy to believe we need someone else to name it before we’re allowed to claim it.
And these days, it’s not just our friends or coworkers we’re measuring ourselves against—for many of us, it now includes influencers, strangers, and curated lives from around the world.
What used to be a sense of belonging within a small community has expanded into a constant stream of silent comparisons.
We’re living in a world that asks us to prove our value through productivity, performance, and popularity—sometimes in front of an audience we don’t even know. And without realizing it, we start believing that our worth is something to be earned… that it depends on how we’re seen by others, many whom barely know us.
But how many people see the entire picture of your life?
How many people in your life know your full story?
How many understand the emotional context behind your decisions… or the quiet strength behind your healing… or the courage it takes for you to simply be here?
There’s a reason that quote, often attributed to Robin Williams, continues to resonate: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”
So why do we give others the power to decide how worthy we are?
Of course, we don’t exist in a vacuum. We’re meant to connect with others—for inspiration, feedback, reflection, and support. But when it comes to our innate worth, that’s not something to outsource.
It’s something to remember.
There is literally no way to know or meet the expectations and values of every person or group in this world. So, anchoring our identity to their expectations, especially when those expectations are ever-changing, will simply leave us disconnected from ourselves, and without any clear direction.
That’s why getting to know our own core values—and letting them guide our choices—can feel so liberating. They become our compass, especially when the outside world feels noisy.
Who you are, and what you create, has value beyond what others can see or acknowledge.
And if you ever forget that, here are a few reminders to return to:
Most people only see a sliver of your truth: Don’t let someone else’s partial perspective override the full story of who you are.
What’s meaningful to you doesn’t need to make sense to everyone: Just because something isn’t celebrated outwardly doesn’t mean it’s not important.
External validation isn’t the same as internal alignment: Keep checking in: Does this feel true to me? Does it align with who I want to be?
You’re allowed to take up space, even when you’re not being praised for it: Your worth isn’t dependent on how palatable or productive you are.
Your value lives in your being, not your performance: You are not a project to complete or a product to perfect. You are already whole.
Your value didn’t start with someone else’s approval—and it doesn’t end when it’s missing.
The next time you find yourself shrinking in the shadow of comparison or waiting for someone else to define your light, take a breath.
Come back home to yourself…to your heart…to what you know deep down:
You were never meant to earn your worth.
You were meant to remember it.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
