Embracing Resistance – Meeting the Edges of Our Growth
Welcome back, Friends!
A while ago, one of my clients told me they felt stuck. When we explored that feeling, they said it was like they didn’t know how to unlock their own Pandora’s box—they didn’t know what was in there, let alone how to begin accessing it.
I told them that this journey—our journey—isn’t about hunting for things to fix or forcing ourselves to heal. It’s about noticing.
Noticing what comes up when life shifts.
Noticing what happens when we don’t get our way.
Noticing how we respond—internally and externally—when things feel uncertain, unfamiliar, or out of our control.
Often, what we find is resistance.
That moment of tightening.
Of pushing away.
Of tensing against ‘what is’.
Maybe you’ve felt it when a mistake triggered shame. Or when someone acted in a way you didn’t expect. Or maybe you’ve tried practicing an affirmation, only to feel that voice inside saying, ‘This is stupid. I don’t believe this.’ That’s resistance, too—the part of you that doesn’t yet feel safe believing something new. Maybe you’ve felt it during a transition—something new, something ending, something changing—and your first instinct was to shut down, avoid, or overthink your way through it.
Resistance, in and of itself, isn’t bad. It’s a messenger. One that often shows up as a way to keep us safe.
And that’s where the magic lies.
Resistance can be a roadblock, or it can be an invitation. It invites us to pause, to get curious, and to ask: What is this moment trying to teach me about myself?
Underneath resistance, there’s often fear—of failure, rejection, change, loss, vulnerability. And most of those fears are linked to past experiences. If we allow ourselves to meet that resistance with gentleness and curiosity instead of judgment or avoidance, it can show us something important: an old belief we’ve outgrown, a story we’re still carrying, or a coping pattern that once served us but no longer does.
But when we ignore it—when we sit in resistance and just focus on what shouldn’t be happening—we get stuck in the struggle. We spend our energy wishing things were different instead of learning how to move with what is.
Life flows like a river, and sometimes, resistance shows up when we try to dam the water—to push against the current, hold it back, or demand it change course. It’s understandable. The current can feel strong and unpredictable. But the water will always find a way to move forward.
What if instead of resisting the current, we learned to notice it and navigate it?
What if, instead of trying to stop the water, we built the tools we need to navigate it?
Each time we notice our resistance and meet it with compassion, we’re building those tools. We’re learning how to ride the river—not because it’s easy, but because this is the human journey—beautiful, uncertain, sometimes wild, but worth showing up for. We can’t predict what’s ahead, but we can trust the tools we’re building to help us navigate what comes.
And that’s what it means to come back to ourselves—not by evading the pain or forcing positivity, but by letting those feelings guide us back to the truth of who we are beneath the fear. It doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay. It doesn’t mean bypassing grief, frustration or uncertainty. There’s nothing wrong with wishing things were different. Those thoughts are deeply human. But when we get stuck looping on what ‘should be,’ it pulls us away from the deeper invitation of resistance—the opportunity to understand ourselves better, so we can meet life, and ourselves, with a little more presence and compassion.
Here are some gentle practices I use when I notice resistance:
Notice your ‘shoulds’: When you catch yourself thinking “This shouldn’t be happening” or “I should feel differently,” pause. That’s often the voice of resistance showing up.
Name what you’re feeling: Try saying it out loud or writing it down: “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” “I feel scared I’ll fail.” Naming it helps create space between you and the emotion.
Ask what it’s protecting: Resistance often shows up trying to keep us safe. Ask gently: “What is this part of me trying to protect?” You may uncover old wounds or outdated beliefs.
Get curious about the past: When has a similar feeling or situation come up before? This may point to a pattern or story that’s asking to be witnessed and released.
Choose a small next step: You don’t need to figure it all out. What’s one gentle thing you can do right now to honour your growth instead of avoiding it?
Growth rarely feels graceful in the moment. Resistance is part of it—it’s proof that you’re meeting your edges. When we meet resistance with curiosity, we transform discomfort into a doorway, giving ourselves the opportunity to step into new territory. Every time you pause to notice it, to wonder what it’s trying to show you, you’re already shifting. You’re already building new ways to move forward—not by force, but by choosing presence over avoidance, again and again. And each time you do, you’re coming home to a truer, freer version of yourself.
With heartfelt gratitude,
Christina
